Angel or Void?

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Do you see me?

Do you watch me from your cloud?

If I could hear your voice upon the wind,

What would you whisper to me?

 

Do you see me cry?

Do you know my pain?

Do you know how I wish I could have just one more day,

With you here with us?

 

Do you watch me when I smile?

Do you hear my laughs,

And smile when I’m able to?

Are you still a part of my life?

 

Did you see when I needed you?

Do you see the lady who is supposed to replace you?

Do you sit there on your cloud?

Or are you just gone.. A void in our lives?

Words to..

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My friend

 

Keep your head up, my dear

I know now things seem so bleak

Know I am, will always be, near

I’ve never known you to stand down

You’ve always stood out in a crowd.

 

My brother

 

I know right now you hate me

I know I take all the blame

I know I left in your hour of need

I know how you shoulder the shame

All I can say is I regret what I did

 

But know I always loved you

Know I never wished you pain

Know I didn’t have a clue

Know I wish I could reverse the game

And I could shoulder all of your burdens

 

My mother

 

Why did you always hate me?

You say you are okay

You say you understand

But then you turn around

And say stop being a dyke

 

Can the words I love you

Exist with everything I’ve done wrong?

In your eyes, was I ever right?

Chance

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When the nights grow dim and the shadows grow longer

I can’t help my mind but to wander

And I find myself remembering the nights I spent with you

Did we ever even had a chance?

I know we thought we had it all

It was nothing but a cold winter romance

Warmer than the air until the sun began to shine

And I suppose I could have told you I could never be your girlfriend

But its hard when I hadn’t even told myself

And I suppose you can make it all my fault

When we never even had a chance

And I can take the pain from this broken heart

But I can’t shoulder the blame all alone

Do you even remember the same things I do?

You talk of the love we used to share

If that is love, do I really want a part of it?

It often felt more like hate to me

There was never even a chance

So I learn to take a breath

And learn to love myself

And maybe now, I will have a chance.

Who are you?

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Forget it all for a minute

Let all the pain, the rage, the hate, fall away

What is left?

 

You are.

 

The pain- given to you

The rage- born of the pain

The hate- born of the rage

 

That is not YOU

 

Who are you without it?

The rage as a safety blanket?

The pain and hatred as walls?
Isn’t it time to find out?

The Yule Ball

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Silver sparkles

Lost in a sea of purple fabric

Hair singed straight

Face painted

Laces stealing my breath away

 

Bittersweet, the hug

From an oft-absent father

The sinking feeling, unsatisfied

Without a clue as to why

Dread mounting, anxiety shouting

 

“You’ll be the prettiest girl at Prom”

 

Matte black

Broken by a silver bowtie

Hair combed back

Near and orderly, obscuring

The sea of butterflies I hide

 

 

Euphoric, the hug

From the lady I’ll escort

Bright flashes in my eyes

Thumps of congratulations, I am

The lucky man to take the prettiest girl to the ball
“May I have this dance?”

Question

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The sun sets over the mountains

As I sit with my feet over the edge

Contemplating to what my life has amounted

Can we ever be who we used to be?

 

The past spins me around

Caught in a tornado of memories

Lifting me from the safety of the ground

Can we ever be who we used to be?

 

My whole being has been shattered and broken

Though I try to pretend to stand strong-

Masking all the pain with the help of hopin’

Can we ever be who we used to be?

 

I’ve long past the time for hesitation

Now it’s for full steam ahead

But I still can’t help but to question

Can we ever be who we used to be?

Letter to Superman 4

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Dear Superman,

Have I told you lately how proud I am? How proud of you I am? Some say that pride is a sin, but I hope you are proud of yourself too. You are doing so well. I know that I seem so far away these days- but remember, I’m just a short flight away, a phone call, a thought. You can move mountains with your bare hands now. But I would move the universe to save you.

With love,

The man you call Sister